Aiden Our Angel -- Recovering from a Loss, with Hope for the Future

I'm Bad. Here's the crew two years later

2010-10-26T00:15:00.002-04:00

Still miss Aiden every day, but boy are the twins growing up fast.

Halloween

2008-10-29T21:45:00.002-04:00

I think the picture says it all.

2008-07-18T11:54:00.000-04:00

We had a wonderful vacation this year. Donna, our best and dearest friend helped us with our summer vacation to Canada. We couldn't have made the trip without her.

Bittersweet Day

2008-07-09T21:31:00.000-04:00

Today should be a happy day. We have made the final payment on Aiden's medical expenses. It still seems crazy that a hospital can tell you your son has died and then proceed to hand you a bill for many thousands of dollars. Anyway, for nearly the past two years I have been making payments on Aiden's medical bills. Today I received the final bill, meaning the expenses are paid in full. This would generally be something you celebrate. However, in this situation it means I will no longer receive a monthly bill with Aiden's name on it. As much as I hate bills, it was always comforting to receive mail from someone else acknowledging Aiden's life.

We're still here....just a little busy.

2008-03-11T09:25:00.002-04:00

Sorry it has been so long since my last post. Turns out twins are about four times the work of a single baby. :-)

It's hard to believe the twins will be three months old tomorrow. Anya is still a little peanut with a scream of a banshee. Zach is turning into a bit of a bruiser. Lately he's been taking four ounces every two hour.

Other than the lack of sleep everyone is doing well. I will try to be more diligent about posting on a regular basis.

Photo update

2008-03-04T10:08:00.000-05:00

Nicholas

Photo update

2008-02-01T10:07:00.000-05:00

Photo update

2008-01-24T10:05:00.001-05:00

Anya
Zach

Photo update

2008-01-12T10:04:00.000-05:00

Anya

Photo update

2008-01-07T09:59:00.000-05:00

Zachary

Photo update

2007-12-25T07:00:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas

Christmas came early

2007-12-24T15:17:00.000-05:00

They're home!! What a way to spend Christmas eve!!

Doing well

2007-12-22T09:12:00.000-05:00

The doctors are very pleased with the progress. Feeding tubes are gone and they both are nursing and bottle feeding quite well. Also their weights are up and they have been apnea free since arriving. So if this progress continues they should be released early next week. Sure would be nice if they came home Christmas day.

One step closer to home.

2007-12-21T13:35:00.000-05:00

Well the babies just arrived here in Nashua. The transfer via ambulance went smoothly and the babies seem to be adjusting to their new environment. The plan now is to get them off their feeding tubes, show some weight gain and to go several days without any signs of apnea. The doctors says they should be home before New Years.

Weather delay

2007-12-20T09:33:00.000-05:00

Due to this wonderful New England winter weather the transfer has been delayed till friday morning.

New plan

2007-12-19T14:28:00.000-05:00

Turns out the NICUs at the hospitals in Concord and Manchester are all full. However it seems that the Southern NH hospital in Nashua NH can take the kids. The plan is for the transfer to happen tomorrow. Nashua is still a good hour plus from home, but we have a greater support system in that area versus Lebanon NH.

Joy & Frustration

2007-12-18T06:15:00.000-05:00

I am sitting in a hotel in Lebanon NH where the current temp is -13. Yes 13 degrees BELOW zero, though it's not the cold that is on my mind. The emotions are very mixed. It is a joy and a true blessing that the twins have finally arrived. However there is a great deal of frustration in the poor communications we're experiencing with the people in the intensive care nursery. Let me explain.

Sat 12/8 5pm We arrive in Concord NH where Kathy is having contractions.

Sat 12/8 8pm Kathy is transported by ambulance to Dartmouth-Hitchcock in Lebanon NH.

Wed 12/12 11am The babies arrive.

Fri 12/14 10am We ask about having the babies moved to a hospital closer to home. The 3+ hour round trip to Dartmouth is getting old quickly. We are told that could happen on Monday.

Sat 12/15 4pm Kathy is discharged as a maternity patient however they allow Kathy to "room as guest" in the birthing pavilion. Since Kathy's accommodations are set I head home for the weekend with Nick.

Sat 12/15 9pm Kathy is told by a nurse in the ICN that there is an opening at David's House (similar to the Ronald McDonald Houses) and that she should move there because she maybe asked to leave the birthing pavilion. She told that if she doesn't take it immediately then it will go to someone else. This all takes place while breast feeding Anya and she is moved without being able to feed Zach.

Sat 12/15 10am I get the a phone call from Kathy who is crying and terrible upset about being moved away from the babies.

Sun 12/16 4am Nick & I hop in the truck for a ride to Lebanon to be with Kathy. A noreaster storm is coming through the area so we pack a bag just in case we need to stay.

Sun 12/16 8am After having breakfast together we decide it's best for us Kathy, Nick & I to head home to ride out the storm. We figure we'll be back to see the babies on Monday and hopefully take them home on Tuesday or Wednesday.

Sunday 12/16 12pm I check in on the kids and am told all is well. I also called Concord to find out the status of the transfer request. They tell me they have not received any request for a transfer.

Sunday 12/16 7pm I speak with the nurse who is caring for the kids. She said they are doing feeding well and both have had their IVs removed. I asked that she reiterate our desire to have the kids moved to Concord so they will be closer to home.

Monday 12/17 6am I call to check on the twins and again I'm told they did great through the night. No issues to report. I am also told we should know about the transfer request after 11am.

Mon 12/17 1pm The three of us head out on our family "vacation". The plan is to spend the day at the hospital with the babies then spend the night at a nearby hotel (with a pool!!). When the babies were born we were told they would spend a week to ten day in the ICN before they could go home. The criteria for discharge was the needed to breath on their own, maintain their body temp in an open bassinet, breast or bottle feed and have 7 straight days without any apnea. As the babies had met all these goals, except the apnea which they only needed 2 more days apnea free, we figured they would be coming home on Wednesday. The finish line was in sight.

Mon 12/17 2:30pm We are greeted by nurse Ratchet who asks us if this is the first time visiting the babies!!

Monday 12/17 3pm We are told by the discharge nurse that Concord cannot take the babies as they are full. Also she tells us that Zach had an episode of apnea on the 15th and Anya had an episode on the 16th, so the soonest they could go home would be next Sunday! WTF?

Tue 12/18 5am Kathy heads over to feed the kids. Nick sleeps in at the hotel while I sit at the desk venting my frustrations! I can't wait to have everyone safe and well at home.

They're Here!!

2007-12-12T13:39:00.000-05:00

Born today at 11:06am was Anya Eve Arenstam. She as 4lbs 8 oz and 16 1/2" long.

She was closely followed by her younger brother at 11:07am. Zachary Aiden Arenstam was 5lbs 5oz and 17 3/4" long

Today's the day!!

2007-12-12T07:15:00.000-05:00

The doctors just checked Kathy and things are changing so they are scheduling the delivery for sometime today! Since the babies will be less than 35 weeks they will have to spent a period of time in the Intensive Care Nursery. Hopefully not too long.

Still no arrivals

2007-12-12T06:36:00.001-05:00

I'm sitting in the hospital room here in Dartmouth on Wednesday at 6:30am and still no babies. Kathy is still having contractions but no change in the cervix, which is what they are waiting for.

Update

2007-12-10T20:23:00.000-05:00

So now that I have some time here is an update on what's been happening.

The first sign that something maybe up was on Friday when Kathy said she had a feeling the babies would be coming this past weekend. The second sign was just after lunch on Saturday when Kathy was having contractions. She spoke with the doctor on call who suggested she wait two hours and to call back if the contractions continued. Well, three hours later the contractions were now 4 1/2 minutes apart and it was time for a ride to the hospital in Concord NH where the other boys were born and where we were planning the birth of these babies. Once at the hospital they found that Kathy was 3 cm dialated and still contracting. They decided to administer some steroids to help the babies development quicken and some other meds to slow down the contractions. They said that since the babies were less than 34 weeks (they were 33w, 6d, 18hrs at the time) they decided to move her to Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center via ambulance. Dartmouth has the best Intensive Care Nursery in the state. We thought the babies would be coming late Saturday night or early Sunday morning.

On Sunday it became clear that the meds to slow down the contractions were working well so they decided to do a second does of steroids and continued administering the meds to hold off the contractions. We were now thinking the babies might arrive late Sunday night or early Monday morning.

Well it is now Monday night and the babies are still in the belly. They have had 48 hours with the meds to help their development and the plan is to do the final dose of anti contraction medication (for lack of the real name) tonight at 10pm and then wait and see what happens. If the contractions stay away without medication then we just sit and wait. If strong contraction start again then they will go ahead with the c-section delivery.

btw..Dartmouth Hitchcock is where Aiden was airlifted to 16 months ago when we lost him. So it is bittersweet to be here again.

So things are a happening...

2007-12-09T20:25:00.000-05:00

No babies yet, but we're getting close. I'll try to provide some details tomorrow. Below is a picture taken earlier today.

Coming down the home stretch

2007-12-01T21:13:00.001-05:00

Well we're into December and the babies are at 33 weeks today. Generally twins show up around the 36-37 week. This is going to be one busy month. We have Nick's birthday on the 23rd, Christmas on the 25th and the newbies anytime now.

Two weeks ago we had a bit of a scare. I had just headed to work when my phone rang. It was Kathy calling to say that her water had just broke. A quick U turn and I was back at the house in no time. I called the doctors office while Kathy got some things together and got Nick dressed. The nurse I spoke with wanted us to come directly to their office in Concord, not far from the hospital where the babies will be delivered. During the ride down we realized that at 31 weeks things could be ok, but another 5 or 6 weeks would be better. So once we got to the doctors they took Kathy in to check on the babies. Heart beats of both babies were strong and things looked great as Kathy's water had not broken. It seems that the little girl was pushing on Mom's bladder and...well you can figure out the rest.

So we drove home realizing that even though we're planning on a late December delivery, these babies could decide to come at anything.

Writers block is broken

2007-11-29T18:55:00.000-05:00

Just over eleven weeks has past since my last post. Obviously I've had quite the case of writers block. Each time I attempted a new post I just kept drifting back to Aiden's birthday. It was such a wonderful day. It is so difficult to face each day without him here with us. I look at Nicky playing, running and having fun and I imagine what it would be like to have Aiden chasing him around. I'm sure they would be best of friends. Nick talks about his brother much more now which is comforting to know he will remember Aiden. Just as we all will.

Happy Birthday Aiden

2007-09-12T14:04:00.000-04:00

September 12, 2005......one of the happiest days of our lives. Baby Aiden was born on that Monday morning. He brought such joy to our lives. We miss you Aiden,

20weeks 3days

2007-09-04T05:35:00.000-04:00

We are now officially past the halfway point. Kathy is feeling well and notices much more movement of the babies. We've been busy getting the house in order before they arrive. I'm guessing not much will get done once they're here.

Another ultrasound

2007-08-20T20:20:00.000-04:00

Kathy went for another ultrasound today. The babies are doing great. Nice strong heart beats and growing like crazy. We were told that they are old enough to tell the sexes. Have a look at the photos and see if you can tell.

Anyone want to guess?

The year in review

2007-08-05T06:23:00.000-04:00

It was a year ago today that we lost Aiden. The life that we knew changed forever in an instant. To look back at the past year and see all that has happened is rather overwhelming. We have gone from a family that was crushed and devastated to one the that is looking toward the future with hope and optimism. It is funny to think we are going to be a family of six. Mommy, Daddy, Nicky, the Twins and Aiden our Angel. He was a little boy who touched our lives so deeply and continues to do so. We truly feel blessed for the time we had with Aiden. Though we only had him here for a short time, his impact will last forever.

Home renovations

2007-07-30T06:48:00.000-04:00

We know once the babies arrive we will be pretty busy so we are trying to get as much done beforehand as possible. Though we've done a great deal of work to our house over the past six years there is still many things left on the "to do list". What we decided to do was expand the house by 200sf by enclosing a porch and by expanding Aiden's room into adjacent attic space.

As a result what was Aiden's room is now becoming a good sized nursery for two. It's hard to make that adjustment especially with the anniversary of his death coming up next week, but I'm sure it's part of the healing process. Boy do I miss him.

Baby pictures

2007-07-18T06:34:00.000-04:00

Kathy had a full service doctors appointment yesterday. She had a checkup with the Doctor, blood work with the lab and the ultra sound. The babies are doing great! They were both moving and a grooving inside Mommy's belly. Strong heartbeats were heard from each one. It will be another four weeks or so until they can tell the sex, so at this point we have Baby A and Baby B. Here are their first photos for the family photo album.

The Morning Show interview

2007-07-13T11:09:00.000-04:00

So the show is over and we are back home from our big adventure. It certainly was a whirlwind. We flew into Newark and were picked up by a car provided by the show. The accommodations at the Double Tree in Times Square was very nice. We were right in the center of all the hustle and bustle of New York City.

I have to admit we were disappointed about the show itself. The expectations did not live up to the reality of the experience. When we spoke with two of the Assistant Producers and told them our story they said it was an interesting and compelling story which they wanted us to share. We were told the segment would be 15 minutes and there would be plenty of time to talk of the loss of Aiden, our decision to have another child and the experience of our IVF adventure. It wasn't until the day before the show that we discovered that the topic of the segment was "The hidden dangerous of overseas infertility treatment" and that there would be two other people with us during the interview to provide a counterpoint. We were told they were there to provide another opinion of overseas IVF and it was not going to be a negative situation for us. The good news is I think we spoke well and did not embarrass ourselves. The segment ended up only 8 minutes long because of some four year old "breaking" news story.

Oh well, we 're back in beautiful New Hampshire expecting two new babies so let them say what they want in NYC

Show Time

2007-07-11T05:21:00.000-04:00

So Kathy tells me that our appearance on The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet is actually airing live. I'm guessing it's only live on the east coast. So you can catch our interview tomorrow, July 12th at 9am et on Fox TV, not to be confused with the Fox News channel.

If you local Fox channel doesn't carry the show you can view the segment later in the day at www.mandjshow.com.

Wish us luck!

Update

2007-07-09T07:12:00.000-04:00

There hasn't been much to report lately. Other than being very tired (which is to be expected) Kathy is doing very well. We are now just past the 12-week mark with about 25-28 weeks to go. Nick is starting to come around about being a big brother again.

One interesting update is that Kathy and I are going to be on TV. The Mike and Juliet Show on Fox TV is doing a segment about going overseas for IVF. They originally contacted our friends Craig and Marcela at IVF Vacation about being on the show. However, they are in the Czech Republic right now so they suggested that the Producers of the show contact us. After doing phone interviews with both Kathy and myself they invited us to be on the show. The plan is for the three of us to fly to New York later this week. We'll spend a day sightseeing, tape the show the following morning and fly home later that afternoon. It will be a bit of a whirlwind but it should be fun. When I find out the airing date I'll update the site.

8W2D

2007-06-11T06:25:00.000-04:00

Boy, I have never wish for a summer to fly by before. Eight weeks is still very early. However Kathy is feeling very well considering she's carrying two. Next friday we get to go for a second ultra sound to see how these kids have grown.

1st Ultrasound

2007-06-01T13:44:00.000-04:00

So today is another important step alone the way. Kathy went for her first ultrasound today. The screen sure did look interesting not only did it show a strong healthy heartbeat.....it showed TWO strong healthy heart beats. TWINS!!

6W2D

2007-05-28T15:15:00.000-04:00

Since the egg transfer was on May 3rd and the eggs were five days old on the transfer date and then you add two weeks for good measure......that puts the pregnancy at 6 week and 2 days. Early, very early. However Kathy is feeling very well. Her first ultrasound will be this Friday and hopefully we'll get to hear the heart beat. The preliminary due date is January 20th, however I'm rooting for a 2007 tax deduction.

The results are in....................

2007-05-16T14:38:00.000-04:00

....and we got a big fat positive!!!!

Kathy went for the bloodtest yesterday and the offical results are we are pregnant!! To say that we are happy would be a huge understatement. During our first attempt Kathy was very good at waiting the two weeks before doing a blood test. This time the wait was a little too much for her. On day 5 post transfer she insisted on doing a home pregnancy test (HPT). Unfortunately the results came back negative which was a disappointment.

On day 7 post transfer she tested again. This time the results seemed encouraging.

Then she did a third test on day 11 post transfer and got a strong positive.

So when she went for the blood test on day 12 post transfer we were pretty confident we'd get a positive result, which we did.

We are so thankful for all the support, thoughts and prayers. We still have a long road ahead, but we just overcame a huge hurdle.

Wait,wait, wait.........

2007-05-08T08:15:00.000-04:00

This waiting stinks. The good news is Kathy has been a great patient. She has been taking things easy and not exerting herself. Though she does keep talking about doing the POAS (pee on a stick) test, which is not recommended due to questionable accuracy. Oh well we shall see.

Week in review

2007-05-05T11:35:00.000-04:00

Nick and I have had a wonderful week. Yes I am exhausted but we had a great time together. The past week consisted of approximately:
20 bedtime stories
4 hours of playground/swing time
3 hours of bike riding
5 baths
and or course countless rolls down the hill.

We missed Mom and we look forward to picking her up later today.

Hopefully she brought home something special. :-)

Transfer day, version 2.0

2007-05-04T06:12:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was transfer day. We originally thought the transfer would take place on Wednesday but this time they decided to "grow" the embryos to 5-day rather than the 3-day they did previously. The thought is the 5-day blastocyst embryo often has a higher success rate. Anyway, the transfer is complete, Kathy is feeling well and Annie has strict orders to keep Kathy confined to bed rest. Now the wait begins. It generally takes two weeks before a blood test will confirm the pregnancy.

Day to play tourist

2007-05-02T18:33:00.000-04:00

Kathy tells me that her and Annie as well as another couple took the train to the town of Olomouc. We had visited Olomouc when we were there in February, however when we went it was on a Sunday and everything was closed. This time they were able to visit some local shops and cafes. It's a good thing Kathy got out and about today because tomorrow is transfer day. The transfer is scheduled for 1pm local time and Kathy is to remain in bed for at least 24 hours after the transfer.

Reporting from the home front

2007-05-01T20:53:00.000-04:00

Since Annie's PC is out of commission that means the only photos being posted will be from this side of the Atlantic.

I am happy to report that the Nickster and I are managing just fine during this week of bachelorhood. After dropping Kathy off on Friday we spent a quiet night at home. On Saturday we went to stay with the Maloneys in Massachusetts where Nick was treated like royalty.

On Sunday we ventured to Groton to meet up with the Modzelewski clan for the Groton Road Race. While Patti and Griffin ran the 5K and Sophie did the 2K Nick was dominating the Toddler Trot in the 4-year old category.

During the week we've just settled into a routine of early morning playtime, breakfast, then off to daycare/work, outdoor playtime, dinner, indoor playtime, a much needed bath time and finally story time (more like three story time). Other than that we are just counting the days till Mommy gets home. :-)

Little glitches

2007-04-30T18:12:00.000-04:00

The trip this time had a bit of a rough start. Prior to leaving we had setup Annie's PC so it would allow video call between us. We test out the program several times before they left. It appeared we had all the bugs worked out. However, once they tired to call from the Czech Republic it worked for maybe two seconds then the call dropped. We tired a second time with nasty results. It turns out there is a software bug between Windows Vista and the Skype program which caused her PC to crash to a point where she has not been able to get it recovered.

The next glitch came when Kathy tried to withdraw some money on Saturday using the new debit card I got her for the trip. I made sure I used the card prior to the trip to ensure it was active. However once she tired it in Prague she got the dreaded Transaction Declined! I was able to get customer service on Sunday who promptly removed the non-US block from the card. I told Kathy she was all set and to use the card on Monday. Well don't you know, same results, Transaction Declined. So this time I go down to the local bank to explain the dilemma. They were very helpful and looked into the situation. Their records showed that the card had the block removed and in fact had been used to make a withdrawal earlier in the day. When I asked if it was for $60 they said yes. I the explained that it was the card in my pocket that they had activated for foreign transactions, not the new card in Kathy's possession. Problem solved.

Off to Europe again.

2007-04-27T19:10:00.000-04:00

So Kathy and her sister Annie are on there way to Zlin in the Czech Republic. Kathy, Nick and I drove down to Annie's where they took a shuttle into Logan airport in Boston. After an overnight flight, with a stop in Zurich, they arrive in Prague about 2pm on Saturday. While Kathy is busy with the baby making business, Nick & I will be holding down the home front here. I'll keep you posted as things proceed. Thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.

Round Two

2007-03-26T05:57:00.000-04:00

Well we got the call from the Doctor in the Czech Republic. They have scheduled a new implant date of either April 30th or May 2nd, depending on how the embryos respond. We are very excited to have a date for another attempt. Unfortunately, this time Nick and I will be holding down the home front, kind of a bachelors week getaway without actually going away. While the two guys are taking care of the house and dog, Kathy will be traveling with her sister Annie who graciously volunteered to go. I'm certain the two of them will have a great time. So with the intinerary planned and tickets booked the countdown begins.

Update

2007-03-18T20:19:00.000-04:00

I've been struggling on how to continue with the blog. The initial reason for the site was to tell others of our story and to raise funds to cover the costs we incurred as a result of Aiden's death. We set a lofty goal of raising $30k. However, with the tremendous support of friends and family we were able to raise nearly $25k. This allowed us to cover all of Aiden's funeral expenses, all of the expenses of our first IVF attempt and many of Aiden's medical expenses. We were able to work out a payment plan for the remaining balance. As we go forward and incur additional IVF expenses we are going to count on that dynamic duo of Master Card and Visa.

Again, we want to thank all of those that have help us through these trying times. Your love and support has helped us a great deal. At this point I think the fund raising effort has run its course, though if you feel the need to contribute please feel free. As things of interest happen I will continue to update the site.

Slight setback

2007-03-02T18:16:00.000-05:00

So today was suppose to be a day of celebration. Kathy went to the lab for a blood test today. We were rather confident that it would come back positive. Unfortunately that was not the case. However, rather than looking at this with despair we've chosen to view it as a practice run. We are fortunate that we still have two grade 1 embryos on ice with our names on them. Now we need to wait another cycle then Kathy can begin her meds again in preparation for a return trip to Zlin. Nothing good comes easy.

The Long Trip Home

2007-02-21T20:29:00.000-05:00

The wakeup call at 3:30am was a sure sign that this was going to be a long day. We were all packed, dressed and ready for our 4:15am ride to the airport to catch a 6:45am flight from Prague to Frankfurt. Due to heavy fog in both cites our flight was delayed about 30-minutes which was fine since we were scheduled for a two hour layover in Frankfurt. The flight from Frankfurt to Boston was 7-hour flying time putting us into Boston was after noon or nearly 15 hours since that wakeup call. Once we collected our bags it was out to the curb to await the bus to take us to Concord New Hampshire where we would pickup our car for the ride home to Gilford. When we walked in the door at home it was just after 4:30pm. That makes our door to door journey which makes it 19 hour travel time..a long trip home.

Back to Prague

2007-02-20T20:30:00.000-05:00

We said our goodbyes and left the Penzion Uno at 10am. The car ride to Prague takes just over three hours. Once in Prague we checked into the hotel, put away our bags and went down to the restaurant for a nice lunch. Nick had his typical chicken nuggets with fries. Once our bellies were full we explored the hotel a bit. Nick was quite pleased to discover the indoor pool. So of course we went for a swim. Then it was back to the room where much to my dismay the wireless internet access was not available in our room. In order to check e-mail and send messages I have to go down to the hotel lobby, which wouldn’t be bad except for the public smoking. Once I did finally get reconnected with the world I received a message from Rupert and Jen that they had two fertilized eggs and the plan was to implant them tomorrow. This was the news we were hoping for. I can’t wait to hear the results.

Party Time

2007-02-19T23:11:00.000-05:00

This is our last full day in Zlin with our new friends. Tomorrow we go to Prague in preparation for our departure early on Wednesday morning. We spent the day shopping for chocolate as well as little souvenirs. The evening was a great deal of fun, Hana and Cestmir who are the proprietors of the Penzion Uno invited all four couples plus Nick down to the bar for a private party with some of their friends. The photos are a good indication of the fun had by all. Afterwards we all headed into town for a wonder dinner at an Italian restaurant.

A day to explore

2007-02-18T22:58:00.000-05:00

We played typical tourists today. We went off with Jennifer and Rupert (our IVF buddies from Washington State) and took a train from Zlin to the town of Olomouc. As expected Nick enjoyed the train ride a great deal. Once we got into town we took a tram through the city in order to orientate ourselves. It was Sunday so all of the shops were closed. However we ventured into a couple of churches as well as a wonderful museum.

Photos to share

2007-02-17T14:55:00.000-05:00

Not much today say today so I thought I'd share some photos.

Today is the day!

2007-02-16T13:17:00.000-05:00

So today is the day we have worked so hard for. We got the call this morning that we had four embryos that were grade 1 (the best) and the suggestion was that we freeze two and implant two today! So that’s what we did, we planted two baby seeds. We both are very excited and pleased with how well things have gone. Now we sit back, pray and let nature take its course. We won't know the results until mid March so all your positive thoughts and well wishes are welcome.

A quiet day

2007-02-15T13:00:00.000-05:00

Today was a low key kind of day. The weather was overcast with a steady light rain. It was a perfect kind of day for visiting the local mall. We did a lot of window shopping, people watching, ice cream tasting and of course race car driving.

Baby business

2007-02-14T17:25:00.000-05:00

Now down to the business of why we have traveled all this way. The egg retrieval and fertilization took place yesterday as planned. The results were 10 eggs retrieved, of which 9 resulted in good quality fertilized embryos. Now we will wait until Friday (day 3) to see how they develop. The results of which will determine the next step. Several options would include freezing some embryos, doing a transfer on Friday or allowing development to continue until day 5 (Sunday). Our hope is that on Friday we would have enough embryos of very good quality in order to freeze some for potential future use (though we should not need to since this is going to work the first time) and then allow 2-3 others to continue development to day 5 and then do the transfer. We shall see.

In order to pass the time we have been doing a great deal of walking. Today we took a trip to the Zlin Zoo and fun was had by all. However, even after all the walking, excitement and fun Nick still did not fall asleep till nearly 11pm,

Day 4 of the adventure

2007-02-13T17:50:00.000-05:00

It is now Tuesday morning and I can confidently say we made the correct decision of moving to a hotel in Zlin. We now have four other couples who are here for the same purpose as us. It is comforting to be able to share your thoughts hopes and fears with someone else that can relate. It is also nice to have people to do things with. We are within walking distance of shops and restaurants (which we take advantage of) and we are only a five minute taxi ride to the fertility clinic. Nick seems to be enjoying himself, though a 4-year old with jet lag can be a challenge for us. We’ve been lucky to have him asleep by midnight. It is cute when he meets another child. Even though they cannot “speak” to one another they are able to get along and play well together.

Vítat až k Miramare

2007-02-12T04:16:00.000-05:00

We spent a nice Saturday afternoon exploring a bit of Prague. On the tail end of our trip we plan to spend another night or two in the city. On Sunday we were up early and ready for a 3½ hour car ride to the town of Luhačovice where the spa Miramare is located. Upon check-in we found that no one spoke any English, not a good sign. Once we got up to our room we found a very nice 1½ bath suite with a nice balcony, from which we took the picture above. We met a couple (Heidi & Stewart) from the Kansas City area that was also here for IVF. It was nice to have someone we could converse with. After unpacking and settling in Stewart came by looking for the phone number of the group that organized this trip for us. It turns out that Stewart & Heidi were assured there would be internet access, which Heidi had to have for her business. For us the internet was a nice to have, for them it was a must have. So after speaking with the trip organizer, who was able to handle translation with the Spa staff, they decided to move Stewart & Heidi to a hotel in the city of Zlin where the clinic is located (about ½ hours from the spa) and where two other IVF couples from the US were staying. So now we had a choice. Stay in a very sleepy spa village where no one speaks English or pack up and move to the city and be with everyone else. Well let’s just say it looks like Zlin will be a nice place to stay.

Welcome to Prague

2007-02-10T11:40:00.000-05:00

We arrived in Frankfurt at 5:30am and had a 2 ½ hour layover till it was time to board the next flight. We arrived in Prague today (Saturday) at 9:15am local time rather tired and weary. After passing through customs and gathering our luggage we made our way outside to get a taxi. As we were loading the luggage into the taxi we noticed that we forgot to claim the infamous, non-aircraft approved booster seat. Just as well, it hadn’t served us very well on our trip. After checking into our hotel we all took a well deserved nap. By 2pm we were refreshed and ready to take a walk around the area. It was a nice balmy 41 degrees, certainly beats the 8 degrees I see going on back home today.

The Adventure Has Begun

2007-02-10T04:57:00.000-05:00

So its 2:00am (8:00pm EST on Friday night) and we’re making our way across the Atlantic on a family adventure. Nick just won’t give in to the sleep he needs so badly. It has been a busy day. We left Gilford just before noon and drove down to Concord NH to catch a Trailways bus into Logan Airport in Boston. They have certainly beefed up security since the last time we traveled. The bus stopped in Manchester NH to pickup other passengers and we were boarded by someone from Homeland Security. They were checking the paper work of any non US citizens on board. After a brief delay we headed towards Boston. Once at the airport we were met by a long line at check in. We planned on checking four bags and carrying on two bags plus Nick’s car seat. Well when they checked the car seat for the proper certification they determined that the seat was NOT approved for use on an aircraft. Guess we missed that one. So the seat became checked luggage as well, which Nick was not too happy about. The next hiccups were when we attempted to go through security. We removed our shoes, unpacked the laptop, the DVD player, and presented the toothpaste and other liquids in the proper quart sized plastic zip lock bag. Figured we were good to go. Not quite, the crack team from TSA noticed that Nick was attempting to pass through security with an unapproved chocolate chip cookie. He was promptly delayed and given the choice of disposing of the cookie, placing it in a plastic tray and passing it through the x-ray machine or finish eating the cookie. You can guess his choice.

We have a winner

2007-02-03T20:00:00.000-05:00

Nick did the honors and the winner of the California Dreamin Getaway is Lee Ann Ellis.

Thanks to everyone that made this a success and a special thanks to my brother Paul for making it all possible.

Fresh outlook for the new year

2007-01-11T18:27:00.000-05:00

With the new year comes a new approach. We've been doing pretty good towards our goal of raising $30k. However it seems Aiden's medical bill are nearly twice what we originally planned for and on top of that the IVF center here in New Hampshire said the cost would be $24,700 rather than the $17,000 that we budgeted. So with this one-two punch we realized we were looking at $40k rather than $30k. It was time for a fresh look at this whole situation. After extensive research we discovered that we could have the IVF procedure done in the Czech Republic for nearly 1/2 the price that we had quoted here in New Hampshire. Additionally the center in the CR does more procedures and has a higher success than many of those here in the US. After speaking with two couples that had used the center, both of whom spoke very highly of their experience, we were convinced this was the approach for us. So we made the commitment and have an appointment date of February 13th. We are very excited and are now counting down the days till we leave.

California Dreamin Getaway

2007-01-02T18:52:00.000-05:00

In an effort to raise money for the Arenstam Medical Fund my brother Paul has put together a wonderful getaway package that consists of:

2 nights’ deluxe accommodations at the Hotel Vitale located on the revitalized Embarcadero Waterfront and the Financial District of San Francisco.

2 round trip tickets on United Airlines.

A 5-course chef’s tasting menu at the AMERICANO Restaurant & Bar.

Spa treatment with bathing ritual at the Spa Vitale.

A private chef’s wine tasting and tour of the Napa Valley with Chef Paul Arenstam.

This package will be raffled by random drawing on Saturday February 3, 2007. Tickets are $25 each and is limited to 250 tickets.

Wow!!

2006-12-25T20:16:00.000-05:00

Considering this was a Christmas which we faced with some sadness and sorrow it turned out to be a truly memorable day. The amount of support we received was just overwhelming. To know that people care so much is very comforting. People that had already given to our cause came back and gave again. What a wonderful Christmas.

When does it get easier?

2006-12-03T19:26:00.000-05:00

Just when you feel you're making progress they go and move the finish line.

We just received an explanation of benefits for Aiden's Life Flight Ambulance and it appears that of the $5,895 charged the insurance company is only going to pay $69.83.

Thanksgiving

2006-11-27T07:24:00.000-05:00

We've been busy the past couple of weeks. With the combination of work, IVF research, fund raising and the holidays I guess it's understandable.

Thanksgiving turned out to be a wonderful day. We knew we didn't want to have dinner at home and be staring at an empty seat. We had always talked about helping out somewhere on Thanksgiving. Though it was always just talk. This year we decided to do something about it. We asked our Pastor if he had any suggestions on where we could help. He came up with the idea of hosting a Thanksgiving dinner at the church. We ended up with nearly 20 guests and probably an equal number of helpers. It was a great time. It would have been greater if Aiden were there.

Making progress

2006-11-15T07:23:00.000-05:00

It is encouraging how we are making progress towards our goal. At first the thought of raising $30,000 was extremely daunting. We started out slowly with money we received in sympathy cards from people immediately after Aiden's death. We had $125 before we even knew what to do with it. In mid October when we decided to go forward with IVF, Kathy was able to add $300 to the fund and I sold a set of wheels for $1,600. So we had just over $2,000 when we decided to seek help from others. Immediately we received $420 in donations and I sold a couple of items on eBay which brought the account balance to $2,545. November began with a bang. I sold my car and a couple of parts which added $10,100 to the cause. Donations for November has been great at $2,200 which bring us to the current total of $14,845, just about the half was point.

What once appeared a daunting task is now within reach thanks to the support of friends, family and well wishers alike. Thank you.

$30,000? How can that be?

2006-11-14T20:04:00.000-05:00

$30,000? How could the tragic loss of a baby boy result in a family needing $30,000. It didn't make sense to me. We have health insurance, surely that would pay for things. $30,000, that's a great deal of money. We couldn't possible need that much money. That number kept going through my mind. When I looked at the individual pieces I realized the figure was true. There are basically three pieces to that number. Aiden's medical expenses, his funeral expenses and the cost of IVF (in vitro fertilization).

Since we have medical insurance, Aiden's bills are "only" $5,200. That's right $5,200 with medical insurance. How could that be so, we have insurance. Well there is the $1,000 deductible and and it is an 80/20 plan. "Luckily" the 20% copay is capped at $3,000. So now we're at $4,000. Insurance companies pay what is common and acceptable according to their rate schedule. Any amount in excess of common and acceptable becomes our responsibility, so that added another $1,224. Total Aiden medical bills...$5,224

Funeral expense. Talking about your 11 month old son and funeral expenses in the same sentence is just wrong. Here again the expenses were less than they could have been. The church and the funeral home provided their services for free. However, it seems there is always other expenses. We had the newspaper announcements, burial plot, infant urn and bronze grave marker. Add it up...$2,978.

Now we get to the big bucks. IVF. After Aiden's birth we figured we were all set as a family of four so Kathy had a tubaligation. Since this was a voluntary procedure we are not eligible for infertility benefits which would have covered IVF expenses. The initial IVF procedure is $13,000 plus the require fertility drugs which we're told will be between $3,000-$5,000 depending on how Kathy responds to the drugs. So call it $4,000. Then more than likely a 2nd cycle will be require which will add another $5,000. IVF budget...$22,000

Add it all up and you come to $30,202. Daunting but we'll make. We have lots of great people supporting us

Welcome to Our Blog

2006-11-13T23:59:00.000-05:00

So as many of you know we created AidenOurAngel.com several weeks ago. It is a website that is used to inform people of our situation and as a means to raise funds for Aiden's medical and burial expenses and also for our attempt of in vitro fertilization. This blog is intended to be a way to provide real time updates as well as to allow others to add their comments and feedback.

Thank You

2006-11-13T23:55:00.002-05:00

We would like to thank the following folks for their generosity:

Paula & Greg
Marcela & Craig
Lara
Ed & Dayna
Nancy
Lisa
Sarah & Skip
Chip & Rene
Chris & Ellen
Victor & Ilidia
Keith & Rebeka
Vinnie & Cathy
Wayne & Noelle
Annie
Friends of Annie's
Steph & Dave
Marianne & Chris
John & Doris
Doug & Cynthia
Megan
Maureen & Lee
Bill & Rosemary
Ted & Sue
Jeff & Jen
Maria & Armie
Monique & Joe
Carol & David
Kay
Rose
Daryl
Vinnie & Cathy
Ann & Bob
Dick & Brenda
Sheila & John
Paul & Charlene
Patti & Joe
Sheila & Warren
Noelle & Wayne
Nelson
Marge & Dennis
Trish

How You Can Help

2006-11-13T23:44:00.000-05:00

We have been touched by the outpouring of love and support from so many people since Aiden’s death. We’re now hoping that others will hear about our loss and our dreams for the future and help make those dreams come true.

We’ve established an account to cover these medical expenses at the Meredith Village Savings Bank in Gilford, NH

Checks made payable to Kathleen Arenstam, Medical Account can be sent to:

Meredith Village Savings Bank
1383 Lakeshore Road
Gilford, NH 03249

Our Story

2006-11-13T23:18:00.000-05:00

Before August 5, 2006, we were a normal happy family; a Mom, a Dad and two beautiful boys. We didn't realize it at that time, but we had everything we wanted in life; a loving marriage, two healthy boys, a beautiful house, and jobs that allowed us to pursue our professional dreams while balancing the needs of our family. Like most parents we had many dreams for our kids. We were looking forward to watching our two boys grow. It's amazing now to think how quickly our lives would be turned upside down.

We were visiting friends and having a wonderful time. Aiden was swimming with Mommy and enjoying himself. Later he had some grapes and crackers. As the day wound down, Aiden let us know that it was time for bed. We put him to sleep in the bedroom around 8 PM. Just before 10 PM, we gathered our things to head home for the night. When we entered the bedroom, we found Aiden cold and lifeless. We called 911, performed CPR and waited for help. The EMTs worked frantically to save our little boy. They were able to restart his heart but he was unresponsive. He was airlifted to a major hospital where he was placed on life support. Despite everyone’s best efforts, Aiden passed away on August 7, 2006.

Our hearts were broken and our world was shattered.

One of the things we are truly grateful for is Nicholas. He has given us hope, purpose and the strength to wake up each day. However we’ve always thought of Nick as one of our children, not as our only child. Nick was a great big brother and he misses having a sibling.

After careful thought, we have decided to pursue the possibility of adding another member to our family. We know another child will not change the fact that Aiden has died. We will live with that loss for every remaining day of our lives. But I think it would give us all something positive to look forward to. It would make our family whole again. To make Nick the big brother he was meant to be.

After Aiden was born, Kathy had a tubal ligation. (We were very happy to be a family of four.) As a result of this voluntary action, no insurance carrier will cover us for the fertility treatments that will be necessary. In addition, our insurance company will not allow us to add maternity coverage to our existing policy until the open enrollment period next year. We are therefore going to have to pay for the IVF treatment and maternity expenses ourselves. We are expecting those cost to exceed $30,000.

We are now trying to raise the necessary funds and we hope you can help. If everyone who reads this would pledge $5 or $10 it would help with ease some of the stress, anguish, frustration and heart ache that we as a family have been experiencing since the loss of Aiden.

We are doing all we can to raise the funds necessary. Brian has sold his car, many items are being sold on eBay and financial frugality is the norm. Even with these actions we still need help from others. There is no denying that this family has suffered greatly and now needs the help of friends and strangers alike.

See How You Can Help.

Photos

2006-11-13T23:10:00.000-05:00